In another world , me and Bhupender would hold hands and stare out of the visitor’s room window for hours at an end. We loitered in the campus from evening to night. We would needlessly take auto trips to the town and back. What a wonderful time!
Then the story takes the usual turn — the coffee loses its steam and flavour. Distance during post graduation, adjusting with a contrasting culture and community, family and financial adjustments — each took their toll on our relationship.
Well there was perhaps a time when I was just short of strangulating him. Once in a while I shouted my frustration out. At other times I just grumbled about my destiny and Karma. We were snapping at each other at the drop of a pin and things were sinking a bit too fast.
And then I self- interrogated — what happened to the love-birds of yesteryears? What happened to the girl who wanted to glide down her balcony at the sight of her Prince Charming coming towards the girls hostel, as the stairs felt too far!
Expectations were taking the sap out of our bond. I consciously meditated on liking my husband again. Not loving him— that I always did though less and less unconditionally with time. Just liking his smile, sharing a cup of tea, discussing a patient…..
By disentangling our lives in my mind I stopped blaming him for everything. Separating our routines, priorities and even financial plans actually helped us appreciate each other again as individuals . Working on an advice that my father gave me on my wedding day — always do sixty percent instinctively, never think I’ll do fifty percent. This consolidated us as a team. I wanted to go back to that fairy tale time when we would be busy in our own lives and yet when we met we would just chat, laugh and dream! I started treating him as my boyfriend again!
Last week we decided to take a duo tour to the Kevadiya Statue of Unity — sans all baggage, even the kids! There in the forest camp tent with no television and no network distractions, with one spoonful of mischief and two dollops of tenderness the coffee was delectable again!