Still in the hangover of ‘Super 30’ I could not help but write about a girl whom I met in class XI.

As my school was till X standard only so for XI and XII I joined Lady Keane College, Shillong.

Shyama had also joined in the same class. We noticed each other and started talking as both our homes were in the same direction in Laban after crossing a 10 minute stretch of pine grove in the Cantonment area.

In college I was busy with my convent group and Shyama was totally dedicated to the classes and lectures.It was during our after college walks that our special bond developed.

Shyama was from a very modest background. My father knew her father as he would build ‘Pandals’ during Durga Puja in our locality , for the rest of the year he worked as a daily wager. With a lot of hope and hard work he had managed primary education for all his four children but Shyama shined out and got admitted for secondary education in our college.

I had once asked her in our initial days — ‘so what have you opted for Medical or Engineering?’ Her answer always stays with me. With calm eyes she serenely replied — ‘My parents will not be able to afford the expense of 5 years of medical or 4 years of engineering fees and hostel even if I get through in one of the courses. I will pursue my B.Sc. with Botany honours and then try to secure a stable job so that I can be of some help to my family.’

Today I am in contact with Shyama through Facebook and Watsapp. She is a government school teacher in Shillong, happily married to one. And seeing her bright photos I can’t find traces of the self conscious reserved girl sitting on a corner bench.

Everyone can’t make it to the IITs or AIIMS , so where do the mediocres go? Shyama showed the way! We don’t have to always be a doctor or an engineer, as long as we are progressing in life, we are successful. As rightly concluded in the movie — an educated person changes the circumstances of his family and of his generations to come.

P.S. Kudos to the legendary teacher Anand Kumar who changed the lives of thousands at a time by creating geniuses 30 at a time.

Growing up, many a times my mother emerged as the Anti-Heroine in my mind as she firmly adhered to her choices. She was never the all tolerating,all forgiving Hindi Seriel Bahu. She would frankly excuse herself from any untimely guest to make sure our study hours were not disturbed. And even when it came to the household chores,she never overdid things to impress others. She likes dolling up and day dreaming in her spare time, and of course gossiping with me!

Warming up to womanhood I learnt it the hard way that my YES is taken for granted, its my NO that sets the ball rolling. It raises a few eyebrows, makes people judge me and perhaps dislike me for sticking to my opinion. With each NO I take the steering of my time and energy back in my hands. I ready myself for the consequences. Its a liberating feeling to be true to myself, just like the innocent childhood days.

I know a lot many people who are constantly exuding the so called Negative Aura because first they will do things to oblige others and then keep nagging about it .

Then there are the diplomats who smartly say NO without using the N and the O . But I feel that such shrewdness does not go far and sooner or later their YESs also lose credence.

Now there’s nothing wrong in lending a helping hand or in thoughtful and considerate deeds. But these should be indulged in without expecting anything in return or with clear intentions. By valuing our priorities and our self, we can lead a life of less regret and more personal choices — just as my Heroine had rightly taught me!

I follow my Mother-in-law’s school of cooking …. first the cumin is spluttered, then goes the ginger garlic paste, the chopped onions followed by the puréed or chopped tomatoes and finally I can think of what vegetable I want to cook today!

But once in a while and mostly on the days when one or the other of the above ingredients is depleted— I reach out for my panch phoron box, stored in a back corner of my upper shelf and as I sprinkle a pinch of it into the hot simmering mustard oil, the emanating aroma instantly transports me to my grandma’s and mother’s kitchen.

I am nine years old, crouched in front of my Grandma’s unun ( mud stove) watching with rapt attention as she pops our the chal pithas ( rice dumplings) from the matir shajh ( mud mould). I remember how I would lust after the largest piece of fish even when she would just start deep frying them. I would spend hours in my Grandma’s kitchen, chit-chatting about her childhood days, unknowingly soaking up her culinary nuances.

I am a teenager, learning the tricks of the trade from my mother — how she balances her salt with a little sprinkle of sugar, how she goes light on her oil and spices for a healthy cuisine. I savour the memories of my mother’s Sunday Biriyani and evening luchis ( maida puris) .

Whoever said the way to a Man’s heart is through his stomach forgot to add that the way to a child’s psyche is through one’s aromas and tastes. So I diligently wake up early every morning to cook a meal for the day …. that someday some aroma or taste somewhere will metaphorically, bring my children back to me!

P.S. Panch Phoron is a Bengali five spice consisting of fenugreek seed,nigella seed,cumin seed, black mustard seed and fennel seed in equal parts.

The first anatomy class is still vivid in my mind.The girls all huddled around the front left dissection table and the boys occupying the remaining three empty tables.

As Purkasthya Sir ushered us into the Medical World with a round of introductions , each one of us had much excitement and many aspirations in our young eyes, I’m sure.

Since then we have each had our highs and lows — I speak strictly for myself. The delusions of a big house and car, a posh lifestyle, fancy vacations, a large bank balance — in short a set life which spurred me to study hard to secure a seat — took sometime to dispel. As the bubbles burst some realisations dawned.

I can’t pay bills with respect and gratitude. Our society is such that a 500 rupees lipstick is branded but a 500 rupees consultation fee is exorbitant. After investing so much time and energy I am expected to be charitable always.

To enjoy your hard earned money you need time and mental peace. But I am sure you have dearth of both as even away from the hospital your phone and mind will be busy with patients.

When I was busy stressing myself out in books, classes, semesters and PG entrances my friends in other professions were earning and spending. By the time I reached a port in my career they were already planning their retirement!

Being a lady doctor is a double whammy. Its not like a demanding day in the O.T. will absolve me from my family duties. The moment I reach home I am Kanta Bai’s reliever!

What’s embarrassing about this fraternity is that rather than being each other’s support we are the cause of each other’s exploitation, frustration, depression and disappointments professionally.

For the hundred patients who do well and recover fully — its my duty. For the one case that gets complicated — I am sued as negligent . The recent Kolkata incidents highlight the physical vulnerability of doctors.

All said and done, the shine in an old man’s eye or the sincere thanks of a young mother always make me beam with joy and pride. I have realised that taking medical as a way of living with erratic work hours, constant up gradation of knowledge and serving sincerely takes the bitterness out of the profession. Till then its a Happy Doctor’s Day to all the dreamy eyes who have recently made the choice or about to make it soon.

In my OPD every day I see 20 to 25 cataract patients whom I advise, work up and operate all through out the year. But as June is being hailed as the cataract awareness month I would take this opportunity to bust a few myths about this common perennial condition.

# I am healthy and follow a healthy lifestyle how can I have cataract!

…. Cataract is not a disease per se, it is a degenerative condition which comes most commonly with aging. Some conditions like trauma, metabolic diseases,diabetes, electric shock can accelerate the process . As of now there is no prophylaxis against it…. it will set in just like the greying of hair and wrinkling of skin.

# Though my vision is hazy I can manage, I will wait for the vision to deteriorate further!

…. It is only after a through dilated evaluation on the slit lamp can your ophthalmologist advice when you need surgery . Never self assess. I have seen many a cases who wait for the vision to deteriorate and cataract to mature and reach such a stage when the intra ocular pressure becomes raised to a state of no visual prognosis.

# Give me some drops to melt my cataract or at least stop its progress!

….Surgery is the only treatment… till now …. it does not resolve with any medications.

# I will wait for now and get operated in winter !

….Thanks to fans and air conditioners cataract surgeries are performed all throughout the year. Though I agree in rural areas with their long load-sheddings winter months are more comfortable but summer months are fine too with minimal restrictions these days.

# It is a 10 minute procedure just like threading nothing major!

….It is the skill of the ophthalmologist acquired by years of practice that he or she can perform the cataract surgery in 10 to 15 minutes with minimal discomfort. But it is a major surgery and by no means to be taken lightly, all precautions like avoiding head wash for a week and no touch to eye along with timely drops should be followed stringently for the best outcome.

Donned in my grey track pants and pink laced sneakers I am as excited as my first day of medical college. Today I resumed my customary morning walk after more than a decade.

Feeling the cool morning breeze against my face makes me want to close my eyes and savour this wave of freshness. It takes me back to my medical college days when me and a dear friend would wake up at 4 a.m. to jog around the whole campus.

So many memories flood back……

The beautiful landscape —- the green pastures and the orange slanting rays of the rising sun at a distance.

The warm up session in the college playground —- soaking up the serenity of solitude.

The jovial banter between us which soon bloomed into friendship.It became the best part of our day and we each did our best not to miss it.

The clothes were fitting better and the confident gait was drawing quite a few appreciative glances.

And the endorphins were magical!All throughout the stressful final year my mood, digestive system and sleep cycle were balanced — well quite so .

I used to call it dynamic meditation, the way one has to focus on each step and each breath. It is amazing that even after these long years morning walk still has that mind clearing effect on me.

I remember joking with my friend that in the event of an untimely death you can still find my ‘aatma’ jogging in the campus in the wee hours! Such was my affinity to this addictive habit and I am glad I resumed it.

P.S. Hope you also remember that time fondly Harpreet 😊

Our next door neighbors — the Sens are shifting to a new rental today. As the truck is being loaded and the cartoons are being hurled from the second floor balcony I can relate to the distress and weariness of the whole situation.

Having shifted several times till now I know how a comfortable living is compromised. As one cannot make permanent renovations so by the time we adjust and settle into our temporary arrangements its time to shift again!

Every time we relocate the routine around which we build our lives is disturbed, it takes time to build a new routine. Especially for children whose emotional and circadian rhythms are disturbed for days together.

As it goes — travel light. So one has to choose between an austere lifestyle with minimum things or endure expensive transportation costs for one’s indispensable elan belongings which one collects in the process of shopping,matching, decorating and child-raising.

We have always been the Hi-Hello neighbors. Today seeing all Mrs. Sen’s energy focused on the simple act of travelling , shifting and thriving I called her over for a much needed cup of tea.

Mrs. Sen with her twinkling eyes was very eager to move into her new surroundings. She always opted for furnished apartments so it felt more like changing guest houses than changing homes.It spared the need to reposition essential home appliances.

Every time she shifted she decluttered her wardrobe, cupboards and thoughts , discarding all that is unusable, non-essential and hoarded uselessly.

By her, it was a change from the mundane and a chance to adapt to a better heart and mind friendly routine. After all a habit once broken can be resumed, altered or modified.

She was glad she will be staying in a posh lakeside locality where she can only rent an apartment but never afford to buy one. As for the money part, we spend so much on fancy vacations. Isn’t this a chance too to meet new people,explore a changed lifestyle and enrich our experiences and memories?

By the time Mrs. Sen left I did warm up to the Gypsy life. But for me its still ‘no place called Home ‘ with a pang!

We planned for a sibling for my son rather than a second child for us. His incessant loneliness was gnawing at us. The little one did bring a wave of happy change.We shared more responsibilities as a family.Ricky grew up overnight into a lovingly protective elder brother.

Looking at my children giggling and pillow fighting takes me back to my own early years — quibbling with my sister, caring for her in school and the inevitable emotional tussles.

I had once read that your siblings are the only people in the world with whom you share a genetic code — a blood bond . That explains the innate favouritism we show towards our siblings in any situation.

I wonder how then does this God-gifted bond weaken as we grow and move out on our own separate paths? Why does many a times sibling rivalry seep out the nectar of this sweet- sour relationship.

The answer lies in childhood comparisons,parental partiality and unequal division of assets.As parents we should be careful to give our time, affection and resources equally to all children — irrespective of who is younger or elder;who is weaker or stronger;their individual talents,personalities and handicaps.

As siblings we should nurture this bond with love and respect , cooperation and attention into a stronger one. It is only by having heart to heart communications in the family that the joy I see bubbling in my daughter just as her brother alights from the school bus will remain forever undiluted.

Myopia is the medical term for the commonly known eye disease near-sightedness.Due to a physiological change in the eye structure the eye can only focus nearby objects, every thing at a distance is a blur. What is alarming is that according to the World Council of Optometry by 2050 upto 50% of world population will be myopic.

Considering the global myopia epidemic 13 to 19 May 2019 is declared as ‘Myopia Awareness Week ‘.

Lets for once pause our 100Mbps digital lives and scan the cause of this myopic shift. The answer is crystal clear– more and more screen time , especially at a young age is taking its toll.

Some measures that can be taken to curb this myopic menace are as …

… Parents and guardians should be aware that this condition runs in the family commonly but sporadic cases are also there.

…Myopia is correctable by spectacles, contact lenses and refractive surgery.

…Periodic eye check ups are a must for everyone.

…We should inculcate more outdoor activities in our lifestyles.Gazing at distances specially green hues is soothing for the eyes.Studies have shown that children involved in some sports are less myopic than children who spend all their time indoors.

…Discouraging excessive gadgets and video games will relax those muscles of accommodation and boost our inter personal communications.

Ps: May 11 to 17 , 2019 is also being hailed as World Retinoblastoma Awareness Week.

Retinoblastoma is the commonest ocular tumour in infants upto 3 years of age. The tell-tale signs are white reflex in pupil, deviated eye or non healing red swollen watering eye . Immediate medical opinion should be sought as the key to effective treatment lies in early diagnosis.

The misty and mesmerising Sohra valley is set in the East Khasi Hills in the north-eastern part of India.

About 2 hours from Shillong,the capital of Meghalaya the meandering asphalt road passes through sloping pastures and brown soil hills.

As a young girl as I learnt to drive through these parts of the country, the breathtaking view awed me every time! And even now several years later the myriad colours of the slopes and hills and sky is still awe-inspiring.

The tranquil Jiva Resort and the fog and constant gentle drizzle transported us for a day to a cosy dreamland.

We lunched at the cleanest village of Asia– Mawlynnong which comes alive with its beautiful village gardens. We visited the living bridge made naturally from roots of large trees growing and entwining over a streamlet. Majestic waterfalls and innumerable rapids were a frequent sight.

The view of gliding through verdant hillside pastures under a crisp light blue sky with feathery clouds trailing by will always be close to my heart.